Who can shed light on these dark times of summatives and exams? Matt Burt, and his flashlight of revolution.
Reducing the workload is my main priority, and I will not rest until every one of you can… ‘Cause you won’t have homework. I will also provide relaxation days to divert your concerns from the stresses of responsibility. We can enjoy our beautiful environment with days spent reading outside, rather than in these suffocating classroom. There is no need for extra stress in these times. We are struggling to keep ourselves above the waters of despair, and the boat of hope is Matt Burt.
This is the only year we have been blessed to be without an exam: We must take advantage of this. I propose we spend that week watching movies and sleeping. Or if you really feel so inclined, studying for other classes.
This classroom was once a fine, respectable conglomeration of students. As a nation we will abolish the plague of cursing that has be stormed this class. A swear jar will engulf the vulgarities that erupt from the mouthes of unruly ne’er-do-wells like a vacuum of justice.
Racism is a scourge on our class. We need to unite as one to prevail against this disease. I believe that through the use of a Dunce Cap and time outs, we will be able to rid ourselves of this unfortunate condition.
I promise to keep my promises realistic. I promise never to promise anything I can’t deliver. And Remember, you ain’t got dirt on Matt Burt. Thank you.